A couple of Idiots
by girlovesmoosey
Summary: Two Irkens and their SIR unit find themselves having to hide from the tallest. Naomi is the crazy weird one, Kiara is the brains...sort of, and Lola is their SIR. Well,they hide on Earth, crash at Zim's house, and Zim thinks they may be put to good use...
1. We want to stay XD

It started almost one Earth year ago on a distant planet we call Irk. This planet was the home of two troublemakers named Kiara (Key-are-uh) and Naomi (Nay-oh-mi). They were the best of friends and they shared their SIR, Lola. Things were going great until they screwed up one too many times.

**Less than one Earth year ago…**

"HURRY UP, KIARA WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!" Cried Naomi in her high-pitched squeal of a voice. Unlike most irkens, Naomi and Kiara had hair, and Naomi's was black with green highlights and separated with two thick rubber bands tied near the ends. Kiara's was just plain black and straight. Naomi also had a small mole on her left cheek near her eye.

"Alright, alright!" Kiara said as her roommate, Naomi dragged her by the arm and ran out of the house into their voot. Lola was already in there and simply waiting for them.

"NYAAAAAAAAGH!" Naomi squealed. There was way too much traffic in front of them. "Kiara, what time is the invitation for?"

"We must've misplaced our invitations…"

Naomi sighed and pulled the voot upward, hitting a few other voots on the way. She went into space and landed on a small planet after about a half hour. This planet was crowded and on screens you could see people eating nachos.

"NACHOS!" Naomi shouted happily. Kiara sighed.

"You're getting carried away again." She said, pulling her into a large room. The tallest were there but no one else.

"Um, hi…" Kiara said quietly as she and Naomi hopped up on the stage. "I'm Kiara and this is Naomi and that's our SIR hiding in that corner over there."

"Why are you guys here?" tallest Red asked.

"We're here for the great assigning!" Naomi said, throwing her little arms into the air. Red and Purple laughed.

"It's been over for two hours!" Purple said. "And besides, You two are very short, yet you want to invade a planet? No way!"

"But…we've been waiting so long! When we wanted to go into Mission Impending Doom I, you told us we were too young!"

"Well, we don't have anymore planets to assign." Red said.

"W-W-WAAAAAAAUAUUAUAUAUGGGH!" Naomi screamed.

Purple smacked the back of her head and she shut up.

"Now, run along you two." He said.

"B-but you don't understand!" Naomi said, on the brink of tears. "We've always dreamed of this!"

"Too bad." Red said, walking away with Purple.

Naomi began to hyperventilate and Kiara put an arm over her shoulder.

"It's okay, Naomi. Maybe next time we can-"

"NO!" she screamed, picking up a water bottle and throwing it at Purple before they could leave the room. They both turned around. (JUSTIN BIEBER!)

"NAOMI!" Kiara screamed. Purple walked over and picked Naomi up by the arm.

"Do you think this is funny?" he asked.

"LET HER GO!" Kiara screamed, kicking Purple in the leg. He dropped Naomi and the two troublemakers took their SIR and ran out the door.

"What do we do?" Naomi asked. Kiara led them into a room with nachos where they were to hide.

"NACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!" Naomi exclaimed, running to a bowl of nachos and attacking everyone around her.

"NAOMI! NO!" Kiara screamed, grabbing her and taking her and Lola to hide behind a bar table. They heard the door open loudly.

The tallest were back.

"I was eating nachoooooos…" Naomi said. "Let me go back…"

"Shh…" Kiara said.

"We're looking for two little troublemakers…" they heard Purple say.

"NACHOS!" Naomi screamed. The tallest walked behind the bar table and found them.

"You two are in VERY big trouble." Tallest Red said.

"Lola!" Kiara screamed. "Hit them with a rocket!"

Lola pulled a rocket out of her head and hit both tallest, and destroying a part of the nacho room.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU GUYS!" Tallest Red shouted.

The three ran out of the room and stole the first voot they saw. They headed into space. If they were going to hide, it was going to be VERY far away.

**The present… (The trip was very long. Longer than Zim's)**

Naomi was sleeping, leaning on Kiara's shoulder.

"Naomi, look! Wake up!" Kiara cried. "I think we can hide here!"

Naomi opened her big blue eyes and looked at a large planet ahead of them.

"Okay. Land the ship." She said.

"W-wait! The ship won't slow down!"

"What do you mean?" Naomi asked. "Then how are we gonna land?"

They had now entered Earth's atmosphere.

"I guess we're crash landing!" Kiara said. "Where do you want to die? An ocean or on someone's property?"

"NEITHER!" Naomi cried, taking the controls. She swerved the ship to the left and they crash-landed on someone's lawn. The airbags came out and Naomi, Kiara, and Lola walked out.

"We need disguises." Kiara said. She walked over to the ship and pressed a button. A small chamber came out. She pressed a few buttons, walked in, and when she came out, she looked like a human. She wore a red long-sleeved dress and tights along with gray boots.

"Your turn!" Kiara said with a smile. Naomi walked in and when she came out, she had peach skin, a green sweater that was much too big for her, jeans, and black boots. Lola then went in and came out disguised as an orange tabby. Kiara pressed a button, they ran a few feet away, and the ship self-destructed.

"Okay!" Naomi said. "Now where do we stay?"

"Maybe a human will let us live with them!" Kiara said.

"No, stupid! People don't just do that." Naomi said, looking at the green and purple house they had crashed by.

"Well, we can ask." Kiara said, pulling her hair behind her shoulders.

The three walked up to the house. Before Kiara could ring the doorbell, Naomi began to bang on the door. Some kid with green shin answered it.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, Earth dweller!" Kiara said, not realizing he was irken, just as they were. Before anyone could say anything else, Naomi shoved the green-skinned kid out of the way and walked into his house.

"YOU DARE WALK INTO THE HOUSE OF ZIM?" Zim screeched.

"Um, sorry." Kiara said. "My friend Naomi here…is kind of weird."

Naomi sat on the couch.

"Mmhmm…can we stay here for the rest of eternity? Yeah? Thanks." She said.

"NO! GET OUT!" Zim yelled, grabbing the sleeve of Naomi's long sweater and pulling her to the door.

"BUT WE...I…UM…C'MON! BE COOL!" Naomi exclaimed. Zim shoved her out the door and slammed it.

"Nice." Kiara said, picking up Lola and holding her.

"NYUUUUH!" Naomi yelled, punching one of Zim's lawn gnomes. He fell down and the others turned to her. They slowly moved towards them.

"WHAT IS THIS?" Kiara shouted as the gnomes closed in on them. The gnomes began to shoot lasers and Kiara, Naomi, and Lola ran away.

"Well, at least we're away from the tallest." Naomi sighed.

"Yeah, but we have nowhere to say because you don't know proper etiquette." Kiara said.

"Well EXCUSE ME!" Naomi said.

Lola made a metallic noise of irritation.

"Listen, we're going to be on this planet for a long time and you screwing things up isn't helping at all!" Kiara said, irritated.

"I'm hungry!" Naomi complained.

"Well, once we find somewhere to stay, we can eat!" Kiara said.

"BUT I WANT TO EAT NOW!" Screamed Naomi's childish voice.

"Naomi, shut up!" Kiara said. She began to walk towards a house.

"Kiara, where are you going?" Naomi asked. "KIARA!"

Kiara knocked on a door and some kid answered it. Soon, the door was slammed in her face and Kiara walked back to Naomi.

"Do you wanna try the first house again?" Kiara asked.

"What? That guy was so weird though."

"I know…but he looked like he might have said yes if you hadn't messed it up!" Kiara said, walking towards Zim's house with Naomi. Kiara softly rang the doorbell and Zim opened the door.

"You again?" he asked. "Go away!"

"Um…mister boy…human…" Kiara said. "Could we please stay here for a day or two…or a week? We don't have anywhere to stay because…because…our parents…died?"

"Hmm." Zim said. "A human, asking for the help of Zim? Nonsense!"

"Well, hear me out…Zim…we're REALLY hungry and would really appreciate it if you let us stay…" Kiara pleaded.

"PLEASE!" Naomi said.

Zim sighed.

"No." he said.

"But-"

"No."

"Just-"

"NO!" Zim screamed. Just then, a little green and black dog walked up to the door.

"COMPANY!" he said.

"Your pet…thing…it talks…" Naomi said.

"Oh, yeah…he does that." Zim said.

"OOOOOOOOH!" Gir said. "THEY SMELL LIKE COOKIES!"

"Gir, go away. I was just getting rid of these humans who wish to stay with us." Zim said.

"WHY? THEY LOOK NICE!" Gir said.

Naomi and Kiara gave a weak smile.

"Because they'll be in the way of our you-know-what…" Zim said.

"AW, but if you give 'em a chance, maybe they can help us. They do live here." Gir said, a grin widening across his face.

"Yes, Gir but…wait…that's not such a bad idea…" he said. He could use these humans to help him discover the Earth's weaknesses…

"So…can we stay?" Naomi asked.

"Sure, sure!" Zim said. "Make yourself at home."

They sat on the couch and began to watch TV with Gir. Zim went down into the base as Naomi went into his fridge and took a container of Cool Whip. These "humans" were going to be so much trouble…

What had Zim gotten himself into?

**REVIEW! I'm sorry, i had this idea before i fell asleep last night...then i worked on it when i hardly woke up...tell me if i should continue! If i do it may be awhile cause i have SO MANY other stories to write. just hang in there :)**


	2. YAY SKOOL!

"So…" Naomi said. "Now what?"

"Well, we live here until…we know it's safe to go back." Kiara said.

"But that'll be forever!" Naomi cried. Zim came back up the elevator.

"Hey, why is your elevator a toilet?" Naomi asked, sticking her sticky fingers in the Cool Whip and licking it off.

"It…just is." Zim said.

"Where does it lead to?" Kiara asked curiously.

"NOWHERE!" Zim said.

"Um…alrighty…" Kiara said.

"Well, after skool tomorrow, I'm going to put you guys to work." Zim said.

"Okay…" Naomi said. "What kind of work?"

"The sneaky kind." Zim said with a smirk. Kiara and Naomi exchanged weird looks.

"Fine." Kiara said.

"You guys aren't from around here are you?" Zim asked.

"No! We're from Ir-"

Kiara smacked Naomi's head.

"IRVINE! IRVINE CALIFORNIA!" Kiara said with a nervous smile.

"Owwwwww…" Naomi said.

"Um…alright." Zim said. "Well, you two will start skool tomorrow then."

"What day is it anyway?" Naomi asked. They had been in space so long that they had lost track of days and months.

"It's Thursday…May 6th…2011…6:32 PM…" Zim said, as if they were very slow-witted. (A/N:I had a good reason but I forgot why I chose that date XP)

"Okay, okay, I get it." Naomi said, licking the container of Cool Whip and coming out with a very messy face.

"Yech…" Zim said. "Anyway, I'll be downstairs. If anything goes wrong, send my dog Gir."

"Okay!" Naomi and Kiara said simultaneously.

After hours of watching TV, they began to feel tired.

"What time is it?" Naomi asked groggily.

"Eleven." Kiara said. "Why don't we sleep? We have skool tomorrow."

"WHAT? Skool, shmool! If it's only eleven…we…we…"

Naomi fell asleep before she could finish. Kiara smiled, got a blanket, and fell asleep there.

The next morning, Gir happily woke them up.

"GET UP! GET UUUUUUP!" He exclaimed. Kiara, Naomi, and Lola stood up.

"Hurry up or we'll be late." Zim said. Naomi and Kiara looked at him.

"Why do we have to go to skool?" Naomi whined.

"Because it's the law here." Zim said, rolling his eyes. They got up and went to get ready.

They walked out of the house and Zim walked ahead of them. He probably didn't want to be seen with them.

They walked to skool and walked into their class.

They spotted a mean looking teacher.

"Hello…I'm Kiara and this is Naomi…" Kiara told the teacher. She read the name plate on the teacher's desk. "…Mrs. Bitters…"

"Alright. Introduce yourself and sit in any empty seats you can find." Mrs. Bitters said.

"I'M NAOMI AND I LIKE TO DRAW AND I LIKE PIE!" Naomi exclaimed.

"I-I'm Kiara and…I'm going to sit down…" she said, quickly sitting down next to some kid. Naomi sat down next to a kid with pointy hair and a trench coat.

"I'm Dib." He said as soon as she sat down.

"Cool name." She said.

"You see that green kid?" Dib asked.

"Yerp." Naomi said.

"Yerp?...anyway, he's an alien!" Dib said.

Naomi laughed.

"He's not an alien." Naomi said with a grin. "An alien would look like...an alien..."

Dib sighed.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me. No one does." He said. Naomi pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil and began to draw.

"La la…LAAA!" she said.

"What are you drawing?" Dib asked.

"A dog." Naomi said.

"It's cute." Dib said with a grin.

"Thank you." Naomi said.

Soon, the bell rang for recess. Finally, they were out of class.

Naomi quickly grabbed Kiara's arm as they ran out.

"KIARA! KIARA!" she said.

"You don't have to shout my name. I'm right here. What is it, Nao?" ("Nao" is just a nickname for Naomi)

"I LIKE IT HERE!" she said, twirling on her heels.

"Me too. It's pretty fun." Kiara said.

Dib walked up to them.

"Hi." He said awkwardly. "Um…I was wondering if you wanted me to show you around the skool?"

He was looking at Naomi so Kiara wasn't sure if he was talking to her too.

"Um…okay!" Naomi said with a smile. "I'll be back soon okay, Kiara?"

Kiara nodded and Naomi walked away with Dib.

"This is the main hallway…" he said. "Some kid threw up here last week…that's where the third graders can't walk because they think it's a cootie zone…those are the bathrooms and…let's go around the cafeteria."

"Okay!" Naomi said.

"And _blah blah blah blah blah…"_

Naomi looked up at the clouds.

"And that's about it for now." Dib said.

"Wha- oh…nice." Naomi said.

"Were you…listening?" Dib asked.

"Um…no…sorry." Naomi said with a smile.

Dib laughed.

"Do you want to get some ice cream after skool?" he asked.

"ICE CREAM!" Naomi cheered. Dib smiled.

"I'll take that as a yes." He said. Hmm…maybe if he bought her ice cream, she'd listen to what he wanted to teach her about the paranormal.

(Haha, so wrong…)

**Warning: Possible ZimXOC (I'm thinking Kiara) DibXOC (Maybe Naomi) and/or GirXLola…sort of…REVIEW OR I KILL SMART AND IMMATURE AND THE HAUNTED WORLD OF ZOMBEHZZZZ!**


	3. ICE CREAM!

Before they knew it, skool was out. Naomi skipped out beside Kiara who was grinning happily. She felt a ninja sneak up on her and grab her arm.

"WAH!" she exclaimed. She looked over and saw it was Dib.

"It's just me." He said with a smile. "So, are we going to get ice cream?"

Naomi looked at Kiara. She wanted her approval.

"Well, didn't Zim want us to help him with something today?" Kiara asked.

"Yeah, but AFTER ICE CREAM!" Naomi said. Kiara rolled her eyes.

"Okay, but I'M going to help him. I don't want to risk getting kicked out of his house." Kiara said, leaving.

"Wait." Dib said. "You guys are staying with Zim?"

"Yeah." Naomi said as they began to walk across the street.

"…And you still don't know he's an alien?"

"He's not." Naomi giggled as they walked into the ice cream shop.

"I'll take a vanilla." Dib told the lady at the counter. Seconds later, Dib was holding a vanilla ice cream cone.

"CHOCOLATE!" Naomi screamed. "I WANT CHOCOLATE!"

They gave her a chocolate ice cream and they walked out the door.

"You sure do like chocolate." Dib said. "Wanna come over my house? I have chocolate bars n' stuff."

"Are you some kind of midget pedophile?" Naomi asked.

"N-No not at all!" Dib said. "I just wanted you to…"

"What?" she asked.

"Support my paranormal beliefs…" he said quietly.

"OKAY!" Naomi said.

"R-really?" he asked.

"Yeah, I love bananas!"

"What?" he asked. "I said…paranormal beliefs…it has nothing to do with bananas. I mean, except Franken Banana but…"

"What's your house like?" Naomi asked.

"Well…it's…big?"

"I LIKE BIG HOUSES! LET'S GO!" Naomi said. Dib smiled and they walked up to his house. Dib unlocked the door and they walked inside.

"I LIKE IT HERE!" she announced.

He pulled her arm and led her into his room.

She sat in a chair and he went on his computer.

"Do you want to see what Zim looks like in alien form?" Dib asked.

"…Okay." Naomi said.

Dib clicked on a picture that he had saved on his computer.

It was a picture of Zim and Gir without their disguises.

"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?" she asked, amazed. "THAT IS THE BEST PHOTO-EDITING I'VE EVER SEEN!"

"I didn't edit it. Zim IS an alien. From the planet Irk, but of course, you wouldn't even know what or where Irk was." Dib said.

"…Right." Naomi said quietly. She couldn't believe what she had just learned about Zim…she HAD TO TELL KIARA!

"Now do you believe me?" he asked.

"I DO!" Naomi said with a smile.

"So…help me expose his secret." Dib said.

"What? I…I couldn't do that." Naomi said. She couldn't rat Zim out for too many reasons. He was letting her stay with him AND she was irken too so it would be kind of mean.

"W-why not?" Dib asked.

"It seems…wrong." Naomi said.

"I understand." Dib said.

Naomi began to giggle.

"W-what is it?" Dib asked.

"I was just thinking…about how…my legs jiggle when I run…" Naomi said.

"You're so weird!" Dib said with a laugh.

"Well…" Naomi said, grabbing her stuff. "I gotta go. Zim wanted me to…help him with something."

"Okay. Bye, Naomi."

"Bye, Dib-human!" she said, walking out the door.

Dib human? Why would she call him that? Ah, well.

She rushed back to the house. There was a note on the door.

_Naomi-human, you're late. I hope you're happy. Anyway, Zim has taken Gir and Kiara down to the nuclear plant to…work on something. You should meet us there if you like living in a house._

_ -Zim_

Naomi sighed. How was she going to get to the power plant?

She pushed some random kid off of his bike and began to ride it. Soon. She was at the power plant. She walked inside and imagined it to look something like how the power plant looks on the Simpsons. Of course, whenever you imagine how something's going to look, it never looks anything like you expect. It was huge in there. Naomi went into a room where Zim was next to a green bucket of some green radioactive junk. Zim was just talking to Kiara and not doing much. Laughing. Having a good time.

"Um…hi?" Naomi said.

"Oh." Zim said, his smile fading away. "You're late."

"I know. I-I'm sorry." Naomi said.

Zim made a gesture to Gir and Gir coughed up a live rat.

"Put it in the radioactive stuff." He said. Naomi picked it up without hesitation and Kiara cringed.

Naomi put it in and when she took it out, it looked dead. She tossed it to the ground.

"I killed it." She said. Zim shook his head. The creature turned from its back and chattered.

"WOAH!" Kiara screamed. The rat's eye twitched a bit and then it began to grow. And it grew up to Gir's height. Then it was about the size of Kiara, who was four inches taller than Naomi. Kiara screamed and Zim strapped an over-sized leash on the thing and they walked it back home. They walked into Zim's house and Zim took the rat to the lab and didn't come back up.

Naomi and Kiara saw that Zim would be in the 'basement' for awhile. They looked at each other.

"I HAVE A SECRET TO TELL YOU!" they said simultaneously.

**Okay, we know what Naomi has to say: Zim is an Irken. But what does Kiara have to share? REVIEW TO FIND OUT!**


End file.
